FIVE
OF THE
WORST FILMS OF 2007
By
Jacqueline Monahan
Jacqueline
Monahan is an English tutor for the GEAR UP program at
UNLV. She is also a consultant for Columbia College
Chicago in Adjunct Faculty Affairs.
jaxn8r@msn.com
Contrary to popular belief, film critics do not sit
around thinking of ways to trash films. It is a genuine
pleasure to find cinematic gems, especially comedies
that are well executed and handled with intelligence.
That seems to be a difficult task for Hollywood.
Somewhere along the way, humor became synonymous with
sexist/sexual stereotypes, F-bombs dropped from unlikely
sources (like grandma) and fixations on bodily functions
best left in lavatories. Those patrons possessing a
modicum of intelligence must check any cerebral
inclinations at the theater door. Too bad. I still hold
out hope for intelligent comedies to make a comeback.
Remember A Fish Called Wanda? Four Weddings and a
Funeral? It can be done.
Meanwhile here are five films that have veered off in
the opposite direction; sadly, it has become a
well-traveled road.
Five of the Worst Films of 2007
(unranked, but all equally wretched)
Because I Said So – Diane Keaton, what happened?
Anti-feminist and insulting, the former tie-wearing,
ultra-hip Annie Hall sells out and embarks on a frenzied
mission to find her youngest daughter a husband – even
though said daughter is a successful entrepreneur. Huh?
Add to this a spastic need to overact with shrill
hysterics, and body movements more suited to a hyper
naval recruit learning semaphore, and you get an even
bigger “Huh?” Keaton’s wardrobe is the only worthwhile
visual in this embarrassment. Poor Mandy Moore has more
support than she realizes in objecting to her screechy,
controlling, improbably archaic mom; a whole
audience-worth of it.
Georgia Rule – All about women but written by a man,
(Mark Andrus) every female in this vulgar, uneven tale
is insanely flawed. Lindsay Lohan is loathsome as a
walking teen C-word. Mom Felicity Huffman is an
alcoholic, psychiatric mess, and Grandma Jane Fonda
takes care of business with OCD-like rituals. There’s a
ridiculous true/not true dalliance with the serious
allegation of sexual abuse. Just the kind of issue you
want to make light of, right? No sympathetic characters
here; my sympathies lie squarely with the audiences who
had to sit through a screening. Georgia Rule number one
should be: Stay the hell away from Georgia Rule.
The Heartbreak Kid – A Ben Stiller comedy rarely misses,
but when it does, it’s a monumental misstep. This
donkey-show tale of a hasty marriage, (to Malin Akerman)
an ensuing deception and an eventual do-over (Michelle
Monaghan’s the next victim) only gets worse by film’s
end. Cruelty is fast becoming comedy’s best crutch,
aided by crudeness and sexual cheap shots. No one wins
in this misbegotten attempt at capturing the bittersweet
charm of the Charles Grodin/Jeannie Berlin/Cybill
Shepherd original. It only succeeds in making us
nostalgic for its predecessor. Come back to us, Ben, and
soon.
The Brothers Solomon – There are two Wills here, but no
way out of this weak procreation tale about nerdy,
sheltered brothers on a race to produce a grandchild for
their comatose dad. Lee Majors makes some easy money as
Coma-Dad, on his back and decidedly un-bionic for all
but a few minutes of the film. Writers and titular
characters Will Forte and Will Arnett, both SNL
affiliates, boorishly interview their way through
potentially fertile women and one falls for a
superficial, shallow neighbor (Malin Akerman, again!).
Women are simply incubators here, looks matter, and
everyone else can be trashed. What a great world in
which to bring up baby.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry – A harebrained scheme
to re-assign insurance benefits insures nothing but
gay-based cheap shots for laughs and then a slap on the
(limp?) wrist for such unenlightened behavior. Also
notable for an all-time low for Jessica Biel as the
world’s most unprofessional lawyer. Adam Sandler fancies
himself a man-whore, and because he is the executive
producer, his wish is granted. Meanwhile, sweet Kevin
James tries to salvage the impending shipwreck caused by
two straight men living in a bogus same-sex
relationship. The schizophrenic plot will reinforce the
beliefs of both gay-bashers and supporters alike.
Confused? So’s this two-faced farce of a film.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There you have it – a handful of “horror” films, and
none of them even in that genre. Hey, as long as
Hollywood gets to foist this mental manure on us, we get
to point and laugh – for all the wrong reasons.
