HAVEN
By
Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com
victoriaa@theflickchicks.com
masauu@aol.com
A mess.
Orlando Bloom had better get those Elves ears back on.
My weekly column, “The Devil’s Hammer,” appears every Monday on
FromTheBalcony.com.
I don’t mind when a movie starts off in the center of the story and you have
to pay attention and work out the details. But with “Haven,” you are in an
imperceptible muddle. The Caribbean accents do not help.
One story starts “Haven” off: A Miami businessman, Carl Ridley (Bill
Paxton), is doing some shady dealings in the tax-free Cayman Islands. When
he finds out that the Feds are pulling up to arrest him, he grabs his
petulant 18-year-old daughter Pippa (Agnes Bruckner) from school and they
take off for the Caribbean island.
Did I
mention Carl displays an inappropriate obsession with his fully-blossomed
daughter?
To spite dad, Amanda immediately meets a local player Fritz (Victor Rasuk)
who is in trouble with the town’s thugs. He snoops around and sees Carl’s
stash of money foreshadowing what will eventually happen.
Next time you prance around naked while stacking a million dollars in
hundreds, make sure you close your bedroom door.
This storyline abruptly ends and we turn our attention to Shy (Orlando
Bloom), a poor fisherman who is secretly romancing his boss’ daughter,
Andrea (Zoë Saldaña). I’m not sure why Andrea’s family is against the
relationship, is it race or because Shy is poor?
After a night
of lovemaking right under her father’s also obsessed nose, and Shy’s buddy
falls asleep without keeping lookout, Andrea’s brother Hammer (Anthony
Mackie) decides to rectify the family’s dishonor.
What does Hammer do? He throws acid in Shy’s face, disfiguring the beautiful
young man who, until this point, showed no vanity whatsoever. Shy becomes a
miserable recluse.
In India more than 5,000 brides die annually because their dowries are
considered insufficient, according to the United Nations Children's Fund
(UNICEF). Crimes of passion, which are treated extremely leniently in Latin
America, are the same thing with a different name, some rights advocates
say.
Fade to black.
What happened to Carl and Pippa? Is Carl a bad man or a pawn for someone
more crafty?
Four months later the two stories collide but we have been exhausted by now
doping out why these young two couples are bound together in a movie. And
why do both fathers keep embracing their teenage daughters?
First-time writer-director Frank E. Flowers, a native of the Caymans, shows
promise; and, since he got an impressive cast, with Bloom serving as a
producer, should continue to grow and develop as a director. Flowers failing
here is the sloppy, and loopy, stories. More underbelly grit, and a linear
storyline, would have helped.
My weekly column, “The
Devil’s Hammer,” appears every Monday on
FromTheBalcony.com and on
www.lasvegaroundtheclock.com.
