Solve the P vs.
NP Problem or figure out the plot of Book of Secrets.
My weekly column, "The Devil's Hammer," is posted every Monday. The
Devil's Hammer on FTB. If you would like to be included on my
distribution list for a weekly preview, just email me at masauu@aol.com.
In Morocco for the opening of "Book of Secrets," I went to the Rave
Theaters at Town Square Las Vegas after the movie had already grossed
$200 million (and counting). This means only one thing: There will be a
third and all parties will cash in and whistle past the reviews. There
will be no need for a screenwriter for the 3rd, just an accountant.
Follow along with me
as best you can: Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicolas Cage) has another
American mystery to solve. Seems his great-great grandpappy was the
target of a rumor linking him to the assassination of President Lincoln
by John Wilkes Booth. The family name has been besmirched! Once again
that nasty Mason sect embedded secrets all over Washington D.C.'s
historical monuments. The hidden clues were so convoluted that no one
has the mental energy to care %u2013except Gates' nutty, nostril
flaring, over-acting father, Patrick Gates (Jon Voight).
There are several character-defacing subplots: Daddy Gates hasn't spoken
to his ex-wife and Ben's mother Emily (Helen Mirren) for over 30 years.
They divorced and became highly agitated foes because Emily was a
free-spirited, highly educated, extremely sexy gal. Ben is in the
process of disengaging himself from his uptight, starved girlfriend
Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger).
It's easy to see why:
Abigail looks at him like he's the creature from the Black Lagoon.
Somebody named Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris) turns up with a half-burned
missing page from Booth's diary. Somehow, and I'm not exactly clear how,
but Ben figures out it's really a treasure map to the rumored City of
Gold! And, to solve the mystery, Ben needs to enlist his ex-girlfriend,
his tech-buddy Riley (Justin Bartha) and his mother, who can figure out
ancient mumbo-jumbo pictograms.
When I blinked, the gang was breaking into Buckingham Palace and
stealing some hidden plaque. Then it's off to the deserted White House
Oval Office. Ben is so arrogant that he hoodwinks the President of the
U.S. (Bruce Greenwood) and kidnaps him! That's hardly a day's work, so
off he goes to the Library of Congress. What happened to the City of
Gold? They find it under Mount Rushmore and go about destroying the
place. In a ridiculous moment, one person must be left behind in the
crumbling City of Gold and, instead of the oldest person (the
over-acting actor) staying behind, Ben volunteers.
His estranged parents
kiss and make up. Abigail decides she really does love Ben after all.
And the City of Gold becomes a tourist attraction.
It took 5 people to think up the messy plot %u2013 The Wibberleys,
Gregory Poirier, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. Husband-wife writing team
Cormac and Marianne Wibberley took the screenwriting money. The
Wibberley's are Disney's latest in-house go-to couple. According to
imdb.com, they will torture us with "G-Force", "Fantastic Voyage" and "I
Dream of Jeannie".
I understand that the
plot for the 3rd goes something like this: The St Louis Art Museum's
Antiquities Department, now headed by Abigail, is facing allegations
that an ancient Egyptian mask in its collection was stolen from a
warehouse in Saqqara, Egypt in the 1980s. Superstar Dr Zahi Hawass, head
of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities and Director of the Giza
Pyramids Excavation, believes the so-called Mask of Ka-nefer-nefer was
looted from Egypt and illegally sold. Upon studying the mask's
provenance, it appears Ben's recently deceased father was in the Saqqara
warehouse and doodled his name inside the mask. Now Ben must clear his
father's tainted reputation by traveling to Malibu, Turkey, Jordan and
Egypt.
Victoria Alexander lives in Las Vegas, Nevada and answers every email.
You can contact Victoria directly at masauu@aol.com or by visiting
www.FilmsInReview.com.
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS
Walt Disney Pictures
Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films present
a Junction Entertainment production
in association with Saturn Films
Credits:
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Screenwriters: The Wibberleys
Story by: Gregory Poirier, the Wibberleys, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Producers: Jerry Bruckheimer, Jon Turteltaub
Executive producers: Mike Stenson, Chad Oman, Barry Waldman, Oren Aviv,
Charles Segars
Directors of photography: John Schwartzman, Amir Mokri
Production designer: Dominic Watkins
Music: Trevor Rabin
Costume designer: Judianna Makovsky
Editors: William Goldenberg, David Rennie
Cast:
Ben Gates: Nicolas Cage
Riley Poole: Justin Bartha
Abigail Chase: Diane Kruger
Patrick Gates: Jon Voight
Emily: Helen Mirren
Mitch: Ed Harris
Sadusky: Harvey Keitel
President: Bruce Greenwood
Running time -- 123 minutes
MPAA rating: PG
